Why do bank statements end on *SUCH* wildly inconsistent days of the month?

Question

When I look at when I get my bank statements, I have a hard time finding any bank that is consistent.
Bank of America is a particularly good example of how erratic these can be:

Statement until 2016-05-05, notification email sent on 2016-05-07
Statement until 2016-06-07, notification email sent on 2016-06-09
Statement until 2016-07-06, notification email sent on 2016-07-08
Statement until 2016-08-08, notification email sent on 2016-08-10
Statement until 2016-09-07, notification email sent on 2016-09-09
Statement until 2016-10-05, notification email sent on 2016-10-07
Statement until 2016-11-03, notification email sent on 2016-11-05
Statement until 2016-12-06, notification email sent on 2016-12-08

And the weirder thing is, this is after I called about a year ago to request that the statements end on the 3rd banking day of the month (they let me choose between the 3rd-18th, or the last banking day).

For the life of me, I cannot comprehend why it's so hard for them to have any kind of consistency.

Why in the world do banks seem to be so random about when they end their statements?
Isn't it just a computer doing the work? Or is it some dude sitting there processing these by hand, getting tired, and putting it off until the next day? Or are they pulling accounting tricks of some sort?

Answer 1

Looking at your dates, I think I see a pattern. It appears that your statement closing date is always 17 business days before the last business day of the month. For example, if you start at May 31 and start counting backwards, skipping Saturdays, Sundays, and May 30 (Memorial Day), you'll see that May 5 is 17 business days before May 31. I cannot explain why Bank of America would do this. If you ask them, let us know what they say.

If it bothers you, find another bank.

I do most of my banking (checking, savings, etc.) with a local credit union. Their statements end on the last day of the month, every month without fail. (Very nice, in my opinion.)

I have two credit cards with nationally known banks, and although those statements end in the middle of the month, they are consistently on the same date every month. (One of them is on the 13th; the other date I can't recall right now.)

You are right, a computer does the work, and your statement date should be able to fall on a weekend without trouble. Even when these were assembled by hand, the statement date could still be on a weekend, and they just wouldn't write it up until the following Monday.

You should be able to find another bank or credit union that does this.

Answer 2

They need to spread the work for all customers over the whole month, and they don't work on weekends.
Combine the two, and the rule becomes clear - if months have minimum of N working days, 1/N of all customers gets set on each day. You seem to be on day 5:
If the month starts with a Monday, the fifth working day is the 5. (Friday); if there is a Sat or Sun in between, it will be the 6th, and if there is both a Sat and a Sun in there, it will be the 7th.

However, the statement itself is not very important at all. It is just the day where they print it on paper (or even only on a PDF). You can see your bank account activity every day 24/7 by checking online, and nothing keeps you from printing it on every 1st of the month if you want (or every day, or whenever you prefer).