I refinanced my primary property to afford ($37,000) the purchase of a home in 2005 for myself, my boyfriend and my newborn son. My boyfriend and I had a verbal financial agreement that he would pay the mortgage plus utilities and I would pay for all costs pertaining to (now) the two children (food, education, clothing, extracurricular activities, vacations etc). Taxes were filed separately as we were never married. He claimed the property on his tax returns as well as 1 dependent child. We separated last August (never married) and now he wants 50% of the equity. Currently, we split the mortgage payment and I continue to pay all expenses for the children.

I would like the equity in the home to be distributed after first receiving the initial 50% of the $37,000 investment and the remainder to be divided equally between the two of them. What's fair and equitable?

  • 1
    You need to consult a lawyer immediately. Do that, and good luck. Also, of course it's pointless to mention it after the fact but "had a verbal financial agreement" never do that. As Pete mentions the overwhelming issue is how much money you get going forward in relation to child support. Get a lawyer.
    – Fattie
    Commented Jun 2, 2016 at 15:11

2 Answers 2


From what I am understanding it is totally up to you how much to give him. Nothing was in writing and the home is in your name. You are best to consult a lawyer as child support should be in play.


The phrase "verbal financial agreement" always makes me cringe! In truth there's no such thing, since it assumes all parties will be honest in their recollections of the details.

There are so many issues at play with this question, such as where you're located, for starters. This has EVERYTHING to do with how this plays out in the end. Needless to say, it's messy because each of you has claims that conflict with one another's - he paid mortgage and utilities plus claimed the mortgage tax deductions while ALSO claiming one child, which is odd in the sense that it should have been you claiming both since you were the one paying the expenses of both children.

Are you in a community property state, has there ever been any claim of common law marriage? These and so many other questions come up, and without more to go on in terms of where you are and the circumstances of your relationship, it would be virtually impossible to give you anything other than general advice.

Since it has been some time that you posted, I'd hope maybe you'd come back and share an update on how it worked out for the education of all of those who might find themselves in similar circumstances.

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