About a year ago, my mom and I purchased a house. It was something she really wanted and I was pretty much guilt tripped into moving in. After moving into the home and seeing our relationship go from bad to worse. I decided that maybe it was a mistake to do it.

My name is on the deed and everything. We split all bills 50/50 and she said that if I move out I would have to keep paying the mortgage. I'm completely clueless about what to do. But staying here is not an option.

What do I do?

  • 6
    While this particular context is mother and daughter, it would also apply to friends, marriages and domestic partnerships. Whats done is done, so "what are the proper steps going forward to get our of this situation in the best way possible" is probably going to be the best answer.
    – MrChrister
    Commented May 22, 2013 at 4:06
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    @Jalisa - sorry for your troubles. It isn't fun to be in this situation I am sure. Please let us know your country and perhaps state/province in case there are some rules you need to be aware of.
    – MrChrister
    Commented May 22, 2013 at 4:07
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    Its mostly a social problem, you need to sort it out with your mother. The main thing saying you have to keep paying the mortgage is your mother, if she wants to keep the house she needs your support (Otherwise she gets kicked out, you won't be living there) not the other way around. Again it won't be fun but family problems never are
    – Darcys22
    Commented May 22, 2013 at 7:17
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    @Darcys22 - not true. If Jalisa's name is on the mortgage, a repossession will go against her credit as well
    – warren
    Commented May 22, 2013 at 20:19
  • How is the property held (i.e. what does the deed say) and in whose names are the mortage(s) held? A discussion of ways that people can or do hold property can be found in this answer of mine. Commented May 22, 2013 at 23:27

2 Answers 2


You say you are on the deed. Are you also a co-signer of the mortgage? If so, you do need to keep paying, and also make sure your mother keeps paying her half. Otherwise, you are subject to foreclosure, and a huge ding to your credit rating. You are also liable for, at minimum, the property taxes and insurance (though these may be included in the mortgage payment).

If you really want out of the obligation, your mother would have to refinance on her own to pay off the original joint mortgage. I guess from the wording of your question that she does not have the means to do that.

You may have to figure out an arrangement to get your mother a roommate who can pay enough rent to cover all or at least most of your half of the expenses.

Good luck.

  • 1
    +1. Even if you have to pay, you don't necessarily need to live there. Best case may be to try to find a renter.
    – JAGAnalyst
    Commented May 24, 2013 at 15:29

I would ask a lawyer. You may be able to sue for partition, which is asking a court to order a sale of the property and divide up the money. It takes time for the wheels of justice to grind and turn this out, and rational people might agree somewhere in the process to a voluntary sale or buyout, since they will have more money by selling and settling among themselves or with the help of one lawyer than by having separate lawyers and dealing back and forth with the courts. It depends on the drama level of the people involved.

This usually comes up with divorcing spouses or partners who live together, but it is my understanding that it is usually an option for common owners to sue for partition when they don't want to be owners any more and no one will buy them out.

Example from a legal website: http://www.dddilaw.com/faqs/partition-action-i-own-a-house-with-my-ex-boyfriend-we-have-been-broken-up-for-three-years-and-h.cfm

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