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A few months ago I was on Grindr and a profile claiming to be a sugar daddy messaged me and I think now it's a scam, I should've known before but I was kind of desperate and in need of money at that time. I didn't give out my bank account, "just" my PayPal (not connected to my bank account) and we exchanged numbers. He told me he would send me an allowance of 3000.- every few weeks and I needed to pay for gift cards and send him codes in order to receive the money. This was the first time being in that kind of sugar dad situation. I had a strange feeling and blocked the number. A few days later another number messaged me, saying he is from the FBI, that they (FBI) have my address and valuable information about me, have their eyes on me in Switzerland (I live in Switzerland) and if I don't do what my sugar daddy asks me to, I'm going to jail. So I got scared, unblocked the number and messaged him again. I did buy another gift card with a code but then stopped again.

I haven't messaged him and didn't reply to any of the messages he sent me. I really think now it's a scam. But he sent me "proof" photos of how another sugar babe "received" money (90'000 US dollars?)... I probably think it's fake or something but it got me scared again.I asked him if he knows my address because the "FBI" number knows but he didn't reply to my question, just telling me "they're the FBI, they know that" (which sounds like it's a scam) I've told him I didn't want to be his sugar babe anymore and he was telling me I could "go" after I made the deposit and pay for another gift card (which would be even more expensive than the one before).. I don't know what to do.

I'm thinking about blocking the number again and also the "FBI" number.. because I really think it's a scam. But I'm afraid of any legal thing..like is there actually something he can do legally? I'm in Switzerland, he has a number from the USA. Also the "FBI" number was weird, a weird profile picture with an Avengers T-Shirt on it and there were a lot of grammatical spelling mistakes in that message that that number sent me when telling me that message above.

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    General note to Downvoters: one of the reasons to DV is lack of research effort, and with duplicates that is often the case. Many people also tend to DV when something is blatantly obvious to them, and they can't believe it wouldn't also be obvious to the question author. But for sugar-daddy questions specifically, please be aware that the author is typically in a world of hurt when they are writing the question, both emotionally and financially. (Note I'm not saying you shouldn't DV, and I'm definitely not saying you should UV either, I'm just pointing out that perspective is helpful.)
    – TTT
    Apr 8 at 15:00
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    But check your resume, you must have some other skills / Do you have any other skills ... like typing? youtube.com/watch?v=9x-TriYjnXs Apr 8 at 18:26
  • @OrangeCoast-reinstateMonica I am sad that I can upvote this comment only once.
    – shoover
    Apr 9 at 1:28
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    "He told me he would send me an allowance of 3000.- every few weeks and I needed to pay for gift cards and send him codes in order to receive the money." That's not asking you to be a sugar baby, that's asking you to be a money mule. Sugar babies don't buy things for their sugar daddies. Apr 9 at 4:17
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There is absolutely, zero, no doubt whatsoever that you have been scammed. The FBI call is fake, especially since the FBI would get into deep trouble with your own Swiss police if they dared doing anything in Switzerland. If you get calls from "Swiss police" that will be just as fake.

Any deposits you made are irrevocably gone, sorry about that. Do NOT make any further deposits, because that money will also be gone. Do NOT hand over any money in any other form, because that money will also be gone. You can go to the police, but there is very little they could do to help you, and nothing they will do. Paypal will deny any responsibility because you sent money voluntarily.

In principle: Any real sugar daddy will get into physical contact with you (because that's the whole point of it from the sugar daddy's point of view) and hand over money in cash for services rendered (because that's the whole point of it from your point of view). There will never be any money (or gift cards) going from you to a real sugar daddy. If anyone asks you for money when they should be the one paying, it's a scam. One hundred percent.

PS. You will now be known as a mark who can be made to pay, so expect more scam attempts in your mailbox. Remember: Anyone asking you for money, bank details, gift cards, it's a scam. Police or your bank contacting you: It's a scam. Your bank will never, ever contact you. Anyone asking for your name and address who should know it: It's a scam.

If you ever think about paying someone money like that again, ask someone more knowledgable for advice. If they say NO, you don't pay. If they say YES, they are not that knowledgable, so you still don't pay.

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    Yes to all of this. Especially now watch out for "lawyers" contacting you to "help you recover the money you were scammed out of" and they just need $X in advance fees....
    – Vicky
    Apr 8 at 16:20
  • @Vicky Absolutely. A real lawyer would know there is zero chance for a lawyer to recover any money, so they wouldn't contact you if they knew about the case, and they would refuse to take your case if you contacted them.
    – gnasher729
    Apr 9 at 21:48
  • Thank you so much for your answer. Yes, I know that money is gone.. I'm blocking the number(s) now. I have screenshots saved in case I might go to the police. So the best is to block the numbers? Is there anything else I can do? I won't be falling for any scam anymore, I feel so much shame and embarrassment that I fell for that scam thing.
    – Aiden Wald
    Apr 13 at 10:51
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That is a whole scam. Whole whole fake from the very beginning

He told me he would send me an allowance of 3000.- every few weeks and I needed to pay for gift cards and send him codes in order to receive the money

The money is certainly laundered and stolen from other scams. The codes are not. The codes can be redeemed and/or exchanged further, and that is permanent. PayPal funds are always reversible.

another number messaged me, saying he is from the FBI, that they (FBI) have my address and valuable information about me, have their eyes on me in Switzerland (I live in Switzerland) and if I don't do what my sugar daddy asks me to, I'm going to jail

FBI has no authority in Switzerland. At minimum, it should have been the Swiss Cantonal Police.

Someone telling me that if I don't cooperate with a scammer I will go to jail is the worst scam ever. Credibility === 0.

This is the one part that makes me upset. These people play with people's weaknesses and feelings, leveraging their feeling of guilt, the fear of unknown consequences, etc. Without even buying a cheap burner Swiss number to increase their credibility a bit.

Remember that no police writes on Whatsapp. They don't necessarily come with SWATS crashing your house doors. They come to people officially, with signed papers/orders and transparency. I won't comment about the Whatsapp photo of that FBI pseudo-agent.

Unfortunately, this may be the part where the scammer tests the victim's weakness/savyness blatantly. E.g. the case where scammers cite Nigeria because they know that educated people know it's a scam.

I'm thinking about blocking the number again and also the "FBI" number.. because I really think it's a scam

Do

is there actually something he can do legally?

No, don't worry. In the worst case, they will blackmail you forever while you cooperate in fear of an unlikely retaliation. I would expect serious threats about your health or entire life, but the credibility is far low because they are looking for multiple victims, and are probably chatting with them right now.

I say "they" not in a gender-neutral way, but because there is likely an organization behind this scam.

But I'm afraid of any legal thing..

You are in a possibly bad situation, and coming out (about your situation I mean, nobody cares about your homosexuality) is the best thing from moral and legal standpoint.

Legally, you might go to Cantonal Police and report the facts, stating that you were innocently deceived. By providing chats, you are providing evidence that will work on your side. An investigation may still start against you. At last, a court may decide on your criminal and economic destiny. If I was you, I wouldn't be worried too much about the criminal prosecution, because if you come out spontaneously, chances are (but this depends on jurisdiction) that the charges will be dropped because you didn't do this intentionally. I don't know about Swiss laws and customs, so I won't be speaking about civil (economic) consequences.

If you don't go yourself to police, here is what may possibly happen.

PayPal to revert the trades

Be prepared for the victims of other scams to complain with PayPal about fraudulent transactions, perhaps done with some phishing. PayPal will return the funds back to the original owner, and will bring your account to red debt, which you will have to pay fully.

You could be the scammer

Be prepared for the police to knock at your door with an accusation of fraud and a consequent criminal prosecution, where you are the main suspect. Suspect of cooperating with the people that deceived you. Especially, as happens always with money muling, if you are rewarded a personal percentage of the scam's proceeding ("keep a gift for yourself and buy nice clothes")

Final line

I am sorry, but this kind of scams is extremely hateful and dangerous as it puts the victim on the side of the perpetrators, by leveraging their weaknesses and fears.

Speaking to a lawyer is always a good idea.

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    That coming out pun is cringe. Apr 8 at 13:33
  • Thank you for your answer. It has really helped me. I don't know if I should go to the police, I'm thinking about it. About the thing what may happen and that I could be perceived as the scammer, I didn't get any of the scam's proceeding because all I did was buying gift cards for him. So that is good right? And yes I thought it was really weird that the "FBI" started contacting me on WhatsApp, because no police does that as you mentioned.
    – Aiden Wald
    Apr 13 at 10:45
  • "You didn't get any of the scam proceedings". That is still abnormal in a sugar-dating. Sugar dating means the babe keeps 100% proceedings. Normally, sugar dating scams require returning some of the money to the scammer. Of course the scammer wants to maximize their profits, but this should never go to 100%. Or maybe it is just the FBI threat part that suggested them to go to 100%. Apr 13 at 11:21
  • Think of this story as an example. The scammer sent 3000$ in fake cheques but requested back only 1000$, 30% Apr 13 at 11:24

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