So I know that you have read the title. But today I come to you pouring out all of my emotional finance trauma. So I am all for saving money. My parents are control freaks and the moment I show any independence they are all for taking it away from me. When I was smaller on birthday relatives, and friends would send me money. I would take that money and save it. I decided to give it to my dad because I didn't like my money being free in my room as I would have people come stay in my rooms during holidays and I didn't want them to steal it. Fast forward a couple months I ask for my money back and my dad says no. H screams at my and says it is no longer your money you gave it to me and that means I am going to keep it. I was upset for good bit of time because they was a huge sale going on for something I had been looking at for months on in. Now I'd turned 13 I asked my parent's if I can get a bank account that way I would be able to put my money in a safe place. I know that meant that my parent's would be able to track my spending and deposits. But at the time I didn't think that would be a big deal since I trust them and they trusted me. Key word I trusted them. Since its covid I can't go to the bank and take out money like I would used to. So when I need physical cash because id didn't want to use my card, i go and exchange my electronic dollars for that cash. My dad saw my bank statements and yelled at me for exchanging dollars. I am scared that he is going to take my account away from me and I honestly wish that I didn't open up the account in the first place. because its electronic he can just be nosey when he wants to. I hate it because I though I was going to get some sort of financial freedom but it turns out whenever I talk business with ,y parents. They don't want me to do anything that means I get independence. They hate that I am growing up and want independence along with my own money. Should I take all my money out so that they don't know when, what, where and how I am spending or should I just wait until I turn 18 to for a separate account without my prying parents eyes.

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    He kept the money you gave to him to hold, but he's so far left your bank account alone? I think you've got a fine question, but it would be better if it were cut down a bit.
    – Hart CO
    Commented Feb 16, 2021 at 17:52
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    This fine question could surely use a copy editor. Commented Feb 16, 2021 at 17:55
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    Related: As a 16 year old, how can I keep my money safe from my mother?
    – Ben Miller
    Commented Feb 16, 2021 at 18:29
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    @BobBaerker - you just know that the reason our OP here wants the cash, is to trade options !! whaa !
    – Fattie
    Commented Feb 16, 2021 at 19:40
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    @Fattie - How fast can I turn my nest egg into $1,000 in the market? Start option trading with $2,000 ! Commented Feb 16, 2021 at 20:03

2 Answers 2


Until you are 18, your money is not your own. If you were a child star of stage or screen, California's Coogan Act could protect your earnings. If you're not a star, the law does not protect you from your parents' emptying your piggy bank.

  1. Unfortunately, just suck it up until you are 18. :-/

  2. You won't believe me now, but when you are ancient (like, 27) you will look back and wish you had "bit your tongue" and just sucked it up, to keep a good relationship with your parents.

  3. Really you can't officially move out until 18. But realistically when you are about 16, you'll have plenty of freedom and realistically be able to move out if you want to.

Here are the takeaways

  • It sucks. You really just have to "suck it up".

  • Once you are about 15-16, it's very unlikely anyone will take your money from you. After all you're only 13 currently, and, that sucks sometimes in various ways.

  • I would encourage you to just "not worry about it" until then. Just "let it go". Your parents could be a million times worse in a million ways, so, you know. That's life.

Sometimes you just have to accept that "you're gonna lose this one". You know?

Time will pass quickly - don't worry about that!

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    Re #2, not necessarily. Some parents are pretty abusive, and trying to maintain any sort of relationship with them just sets you up for pain.
    – jamesqf
    Commented Feb 17, 2021 at 4:19
  • @jamesqf On the other hand, not everything that seems restrictive to a 13 year old counts as abuse. Without discounting the possibility of abuse, I support Fattie’s general encouragement to factor in the longer-term relationship.
    – Lawrence
    Commented Feb 17, 2021 at 14:26

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