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I was scammed by someone who had stolen another sugar daddy’s identity and pretended to be him and offered to spoil me.

Long story short, they were able to have my name, school ID, phone number, address, bank account information, and even my SSN.

I’ve already changed the information to all of my bank accounts after the fraudulent checks bounced and left me negative in my bank account and I finally decided to acknowledge that I was being scammed.

However, I received a number of spam messages from numbers, one even using my first name, and received obviously scam voicemails as well. I’m worried the scammer will use my identity to pretend to be me, as they have with the guy who I thought was my sugar daddy, if they haven’t already done so.

I’ve read threads about calling the bank and closing and opening a new account, but my account is a student account under my dad’s name and I haven’t told my family that I’ve been scammed yet.

I also don’t want to report it to the police and make matters official with lawyers and everything.

Out of spite, I convinced the scammer I was also a scammer by sending them scam-like messages but I’m not sure if it’ll do anything to the reputability of my identity, as I’m thinking that maybe by pretending the identity I gave them was fake will deter them from using it.

Please let me know what I should do.

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    "I convinced the scammer I was also a scammer". No offence, but I sincerely doubt you convinced him of any such thing. The bank account was real enough when he drained it, that alone is probably enough motivation. If it turns out to be fake after all, he won't have lost much for trying. Even when he has real identities, he probably doesn't plan to use them for very long before they get flagged (BTW, not going the police only means it will be longer before those flags start raising to protect you.). Don't try to beat him at his own game; this is his turf, not yours.
    – Steve-O
    Apr 9, 2020 at 15:43
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    You ask what you should do but you say that you have already rejected all of the obviously good advice: tell your parents that their accounts are going to be the targets of fraud, and tell the police that you are the victim of a crime. If you're going to reject good advice, it's hard to know how to advise you further; can you clarify the question to say what advice would cause you to take actions to protect yourself?
    – Eric Lippert
    Apr 9, 2020 at 17:56
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    Things are getting crazier by the day. Now even the sugar daddy scammers are getting scammed by sugar daddy scammer scammers!
    – BrenBarn
    Apr 9, 2020 at 18:17
  • @user96897 in a country like mine, you would be criminally charged for any offense used by your id documentation even if you convince the court it’s not you (because the law describing proofs would apply). And it would be up to you to fill lawsuits against your scammer (and it would still not remove possible prison time which means even if you get financial compensation you might have to finish your prison sentence).
    – user2284570
    Apr 10, 2020 at 17:06
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    @Michael France (so I don’t think this is the same for the hop) there are sometimes peoples in the new explaining how far it went for them. The only thing you can do is to revoke previous documents but this protects only with some public services which have access to the databases, making the documentation still valid elsewhere. usurpation d’identité itself is a misdemeanor. But the law doesn’t protect victims legally even when the person who really performed is proven guilty of usurpation d’identité (because there’s no proofs in the case of what he did).
    – user2284570
    Apr 10, 2020 at 22:33

4 Answers 4

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You fooled yourself into thinking that you could get something for nothing, and now you're fooling yourself that this will all just go away if you are sufficiently clever. What happens if the folks who were paid with bad check start filing criminal complaints against you? What are you going to say to your father when the bank calls him about the overdraft?

The way to get out from under this is to level with your parents, and have them work with you to sort it out. It certainly will involve the bank, maybe getting a new SSN. It might involve police and lawyers, but the sooner you work the legitimate channels to clear it up, the less likely that will be.

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    As the saying goes, "You can't scam a honest person", the sooner you make everything above board, the sooner you can resolve it.
    – DrakaSAN
    Apr 8, 2020 at 12:10
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    do yourself a favor and google what a "sugar daddy" is. sex workers are not "getting something for nothing". disrespecting someone's livelihood adds nothing to this answer.
    – user371366
    Apr 8, 2020 at 16:13
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    This answer seems pretty judgmental based on the frankly extraneous detail that there was a sugar daddy involved. If you removed the context, so that the question is "I've been scammed and personal data is compromised, what should I do?" then "Tell your parents" would not be a good answer.
    – Cain
    Apr 8, 2020 at 16:15
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    "if the folks who were paid with bad check start filing criminal complaints against you" -- I see no indication that OP wrote bad checks. OP said "the fraudulent checks bounced" meaning the checks from the scammer to OP. The overdraft on OP's account indicates that checks written by OP (including to the scammer himself) while believing the money was in the account were honored. So OP's debt is to the bank, not anyone else. No need to make the problem sound worse than it is.
    – nanoman
    Apr 8, 2020 at 18:10
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    @Cain I think "tell your parents" came up because OP said "my account is a student account under my dad’s name".
    – nanoman
    Apr 8, 2020 at 18:12
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It sounds like the main thing to worry about is your bank account. If it were me, I'd call the bank and tell them you've been the victim of identity theft, and see what they say you need to do from there. It may require filing a police report, or getting your parents involved, since they're on the account, but the only way to find out is to talk to someone at your bank.

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It seems those sugar daddies platforms are a hotbed for scammers praying on young innocent girls, who expect to get an iPhone for a virtual relationship. Anyways...

As to any scam, ask yourself if something is too good to be true. It's easier to prevent it than to repair it.

Regarding your case, you should:

  • report it to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC). Check their official guide here
  • review your credit reports with main agencies like Equifax, Experian, Innovis, TransUnion. Watch out for things that do not originate from you
  • consider freezing the credit files in the said agencies above

Most identity thieves are after the money. Some are stalkers trying to harm the victim, but in this case it seems his interest is purely financial. Once he sees that you are reacting and cannot get anything more from you, he will move forward towards another victim.

Also notice that identity theft is not only about ordering stuff online and credit. It can also involve fraudulent IRS fillings or for obtaining medical services/product under your name.

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    "...those sugar daddies platforms..." -- So..., this is a thing? I suddenly feel so unworldly now.
    – MrWonderful
    Apr 10, 2020 at 18:04
  • @MrWonderful: yes, there are apps for that too. "sugar daddy dating", "seeking arrangement" "spoiled princesses", the kind of stuff.
    – Quora Feans
    Apr 10, 2020 at 19:04
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First of all, procedures can vary from country to country. But what you need to know to avoid charges and criminal acts against yourself by things you didn't do is to file it at a police station and/or judge/courts. If you don't file or present anything it means everything is ok, you cannot go to anywhere when they have done something in your name.

To put an example if someone did a payment with my card without consent, I cannot retrieve any money if I don't tell the police and write a criminal action against the people who did it.

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    Though in a country like mine, you would be criminally charged for any offense used by your id documentation even if you convince the court it’s not you (because the law describing proofs would apply). And it would be up to you to fill lawsuits against your scammer (and it would still not remove possible prison time which means even if you get financial compensation you might have to finish your prison sentence).
    – user2284570
    Apr 10, 2020 at 17:09

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