With eBay, what's important to always keep front and center is how to protect yourself via eBay's policies, because diverging from them can easily result in all monetary burdens resting on you, possibly along with account penalties being incurred. I'll explain, but to start, in answer to "how to deal with" this situation:
In Short, How to Proceed
- Reply to the buyer, telling them that due to eBay policies, you can only complete the transaction through the eBay checkout process, but you'd be happy to re-send the invoice (do so, see below for explanation).
- Tell the buyer you can only ship to the address that is given to you via the eBay invoice system, but that they can make updates as needed before finalizing their check out.
- File an abusive buyer report now (see below), let eBay sort out whether or not they're actively malicious. This may sound mercenary, but it's what you need to do as a seller.
- Two days after close, when the buyer in all likelihood still hasn't properly paid, start the unpaid transaction process. The buyer will have 4 days to contest. "The seller won't let me do a paypal transaction outside of eBay" is not going to go their way.
Between these, you either safely get out of this transaction without risking your seller rating (much less possibly getting your account flagged), or the buyer is forced to pay normally. If the buyer says anything that can be construed as threatening (including simply to your seller rating) in response to any of this, re-report them as an abusive buyer and you should be completely out at that point. Regardless, block the buyer after this is all done.
You can skip the rest so long as you stick to the above, but if you're interested in why, what helps is looking at the situation through the lens of eBay policies, and first and foremost,
Your buyer's request violates the Abusive Buyer policies on multiple counts
You should report this buyer under the abusive buyer policy (there's a report button right there on the policy page), and here's the specific parts they're violating:
Under Don't demand something not offered in the original listing
Requesting the seller ship to an address other than what you included in checkout
Requesting to use a payment method not offered during checkout
Conversely, here's how a valid buyer could handle this. And if you want to continue communicating with this buyer, this is what you could tell them:
Updating your address in your eBay account before you checkout
Pay for your item through a payment option offered at checkout
Ebay's advice is generally to re-send the invoice:
Send the buyer an invoice to remind them to pay. In your Sold items in My eBay, select the item, then select More actions, and choose Send invoice.
Essentially, they need to make their updates in eBay. Trying to do it by contacting you with requests to engage in changes outside the eBay invoicing system is an immediate red flag for you. Most importantly, if you proceed to try completing the transaction like this, you highly risk not being considered covered by seller protections on eBay for this sale.
Always Approach Buyers with Civility, and Keep to the Rules
Your best approach (other than reporting them as an abusive buyer) is to calmly tell them that you can only proceed using eBay's built in systems and you will happily re-send the invoice (do so).
When this goes to resolution and someone is reading through the messaging between you both, you always want to be the one who is both calm and nicely emphasizing following eBay's rules.
The easy out is unpaid transaction
If a buyer won't pay through eBay's systems, and you haven't said you accept other forms of payment, you can stick to standard transaction policies and then use unpaid transaction when the buyer refuses to pay in a normal way to safely back out as a seller, which engages a number of protections for you in regards to the sale, attempts at negative feedback, etc. Once two days are up from the invoice date/time, you can mark the transaction as unpaid to close it out via the Resolution center.
Don't Ever Jeopardize your Seller Protections, Stick to Seller Policies
When I asked him to confirm his address was in the US he said it's a freight forwarder company which have another branch in England and can I send it there.
- Only EVER send to the address on the invoice.
I seem to have an issue making the payment Can we split the amount
into 2 payments if you send me you paypal Id I will pay the amount in
2 installments which I think should go through.
- Only EVER accept payment through the invoice system.
While this isn't quite a case of a buyer or seller trying to fully sell outside of eBay, all signs point to trying to scam you via either a faked "you've been paid" email or something similar (always only check paypal itself, and never using links in emails, for whether or not you have been paid and what your account balance is). There are plenty of ways to complete a transaction in eBay's invoicing system via paypal with multiple payment sources if this were a straightforward related concern. A legitimate buyer can contact eBay for assistance in doing so, and if you're trying to be nice and pretend like you believe everything is fine, that's what you could relay back to the buyer in a case like this (when eBay reviews your message logs about this, it also helps to show you have done everything right as a seller, it always helps to look like you've bent over backwards to be kindly helpful but within the constraints of the system).
Note that when a buyer makes demands that don't match the invoicing, you are protected under the Seller Protection Policy when it comes to things like retaliatory feedback or similar repercussions so long as you stick to the invoicing, rather than the changed demands the buyer is making in messaging, per:
A buyer demanded something not offered in the original listing
You never have to agree to any changes to the terms in your listing (e.g.,
adding additional items or discounts). If a buyer demands a change to
what you originally offered, you can choose to either cancel the
order, or you can complete the transaction under the original terms.
We will remove feedback and canceled transaction defects when we can
see the buyer's demands in eBay messages.
If you're really in doubt, always directly contact eBay and/or Paypal (depending on which is most relevant) and receive clarification on your coverage in the event of engaging in anything that's outside of the norm. Be specific in asking whether the specific actions being requested would still be covered under their policies. They will generally be very upfront in the replies to this. But my personal advice is that whenever anything starts going sideways from normal, first and foremost stick to related tools (Abusive Buyer, Nonpayment reporting, etc) while you wait for responses from eBay personnel (rather than holding off until you get a response), and don't deviate from normal practices in eBay if you want any chance of their Seller policies working in your favor.