I got involved with an online person and we exchanged numbers and he told me he would pay me $500 a week allowance to hang out when our schedules permit and to message him. Looking over it, I should have known it was a scam but was a bit desperate so got involved. He sent me a cashiers check which I deposited and, because I got worried, I called my bank and they put a hold on my account because they agreed with me that the check was probably fake. Now I have a sugar daddy scammer threatening me with FBI saying I'm a fraud, and saying he has my address which I did not give him, can he legally do anything? He also wanted me to forward 1500 dollars of the 2000 dollar check through zelle.

  • 30
    "hang out with him" you realise that's not what it means to be a sugar baby, right? Not that it actually matters here, as this was a financial scam rather than prostitution. Mar 20, 2020 at 14:26
  • 20
    "I'll report you to the FBI" is as much as a scam as the original approach. Adjust your gullibility meter.
    – ceejayoz
    Mar 20, 2020 at 21:04
  • 10
    The last thing a scammer wants you to do is get the FBI involved.
    – corsiKa
    Mar 21, 2020 at 2:01
  • 8
    Tell him not to bother because you already contacted the FBI...
    – Nick S
    Mar 22, 2020 at 4:39
  • 2
    It's sad what our society has come to.
    – tnk479
    May 15, 2020 at 21:27

3 Answers 3


Take a look at some of the other questions in tag . Your experience is not unique, sadly.

The tag description shows what I think is happening to you:

A sugar relationship is often used as a setup for more ordinary fraud by enticing the sugar-baby as a mark. The scammer suggests to the sugar-baby that he likes her and would like to send her something, this elicits access to the babys accounts or gets her to act as a money mule by cashing fraudulent checks, buying goods with stolen financial information, or other fraud. The sugar-baby thinks she is getting something for doing little more than flirting with someone or sending pictures, in reality she is being victimized and stolen from or being used to launder stolen money.

The money your sugar-daddy sent you was either not his in the first place or was from an illicit source, like drug sales. You did the right thing to contact your bank, that cashiers check is probably going to bounce or get pulled back.

The threats to take you to the FBI or police are just that, threats. This is not a person who wants ANY contact with the law.

Keep records of your contact with the bank, get some screenshots or paper copies of your statements. Keep the money that has been sent available, don't spend it. The bank will suck that right back out of your account when the check bounces.

Being a sugar-baby is not a great way to make money. It's not that lucrative and exposes the baby to a lot of personal risk. As noted in the wiki, a lot of the actual sugar relationships are designed to very tightly control the sugar-baby. The relationships are inherently controlling and expose the sugar-baby to risks for being draw into scams and fraud.

If you're hell bent on staying in the sugar-baby game, find a better way to take the money. There are good online payment services that are NOT attached to your bank account. These services would be both generic payment platforms as well as "camgirl" sites designed to support sugar relationships.

  • 29
    Mostly good info, but in my opinion, the last paragraph is terrible advice. It should be: “Learn your lesson now: Get out of the sugar-baby game. It is almost exclusively a scam. You are worth more as a person than that.”
    – Ben Miller
    Mar 20, 2020 at 13:56
  • 14
    @Ben Miller - Remember Monica: I don't know about that. If the OP is interested in a classic sugar baby relationship - that is, having a guy support her in exchange for sex - that's one thing. As with any other scam, the problem is when potential sugar babies think they're going to get something for nothing.
    – jamesqf
    Mar 20, 2020 at 18:03
  • 14
    @jamesqf Granted I've never been a camgirl myself, but it doesn't strike me as the kind of job that leads to a good quality of living. If OP is enticed to drop out of school by the money she's making, she might find herself in ten years with no more income and no useable skills to shift careers with. And this is assuming there's no actual physical contact with the daddy, which carries a whole new set of risks and potential abuses. There's definitely more to consider than just how to take payments, at any rate, and I would tend to agree that "get out now" is really the best advice.
    – Steve-O
    Mar 20, 2020 at 20:17
  • 7
    @Steve-O: Like anything else, it depends. For instance, a friend of mine worked her way through college doing phone sex and exotic dancing, another was a casino showgirl until getting her BS in math.
    – jamesqf
    Mar 21, 2020 at 3:35
  • 2
    @DavidSchwartz he paid her to "hang out" with him, which she didn't do. You generally can't just take money for services and then not perform the service. Obviously it should be verified to be legit first and returned in a way that doesn't put OP at risk of doing anything illegal, or maybe she can just turn it over to the police or bank and let them deal with it, but she definitely shouldn't keep and spend it.
    – Kat
    Mar 23, 2020 at 19:42

What the scammer is really trying to do is get you to send $1500 through Zelle!

After you do that, the $2000 payment will evaporate. The cashier's check will bounce, the EFT will be reversed as fraud, whatever the case may be. And then you will owe the bank $2000.

Everything out of the scammer's mouth is a lie, for that single purpose.

The scammer couldn't care less about you as a sex object, and is only after the $1500.


The most important thing first: Don't send this person any money!

Also important: Any legal threats are empty. If he was stupid enough to complain to the FBI, he'd be the first to be arrested, so that's not going to happen. And expect the money from the checque to evaporate.

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