A sugar daddy messaged me on Instagram. I was having a hard time so I responded, and he said he would send me money and didn’t expect anything in return.

He then he asked for my bank account info which I stupidly gave him, because I had no money in my account. He deposited 200$ and said I had to withdraw it. I tried a couple times and it didn’t work. Then I got locked out of my account. I blocked the guy because I found out he had transferred the money to some random person. I went to my bank to get my account unlocked. I was embarrassed and acted like I had no idea why I was locked out. They said I had to call fraud, so I did and they said I had to go to my bank and tell them what happened.

I’m terrified to tell them in person, but I have to to get my account back. Also I am 16. Will I get in trouble for accepting money from someone over age? Will they need my parents to come in?

  • 60
    Hi Penelope, welcome to the site. Please ask for your parents' help on this. Someone older than you tricked you, and that's not your fault. You're ashamed that you got tricked and worried that your parents will be mad and you'll be in trouble, but your parents will get over it. They can help you figure this out.
    – spuck
    Commented Jan 2, 2020 at 16:22
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    First off: you are the victim of a crime. The bank will help you sort it out. They see this sort of thing every day. Second: Anyone you don't know who offers you money for nothing is attempting to do some kind of fraud. Block them. Third: there are better ways to make money; find one! Commented Jan 2, 2020 at 18:29
  • One definition of sugar daddy. Commented Jan 3, 2020 at 5:15
  • 1
    Also duplicate: Am I being scammed by a sugar daddy?
    – Soulis
    Commented Jan 3, 2020 at 17:42
  • I don't think this is exactly a duplicate. The title of the question is focusing not on the nature of the scammer's actions, but the consequences for the OP. Commented Jan 5, 2020 at 2:12

3 Answers 3


Also I am 16

Before chat with a sugar daddy, for God's sake learn what is expected of a sugar baby. (Accessing your bank account is not what's expected...)

will I get in trouble for accepting money from someone over age?

Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth; plead youth, naivete and desperation. They'll fuss at you a bit, but won't fine you or send you to jail.

If you hide or deceive them, they'll think you're in cahoots with the scammer and you very well might get in trouble.

Tell the truth.

Will they need my parents to come in?

Possibly. It'll be really difficult to hide this from them.

  • 1
    Downvoting as you can't 'go to jail' for giving someone your account details. This situation isn't that bad at all.
    – Cloud
    Commented Jan 3, 2020 at 12:13
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    @Cloud but I didn't say she'd go to jail. "might get in trouble" is what I wrote.
    – RonJohn
    Commented Jan 3, 2020 at 13:19

I would suggest you immediately take this matter to the police.

Will I get in trouble for accepting money from someone over age?

Almost certainly not. The concept of "under age" exists for a reason, society has lower expectations while you're still young. The other guy, however, is potentially in some deep shit.

For an adult to seek out a sugar daddy/child relationship with a minor is pretty clearly solicitation of a minor.

IANAL, but the sugar daddy appears to have committed the crime of "Luring of a child". That is a very serious crime in Canada, an "indictable offence" by our lingo, meaning an offence with prison sentences of 2 years or longer, as opposed to a "summary offence".

Luring a child 172.1 (1) Every person commits an offence who, by means of a computer system within the meaning of subsection 342.1(2), communicates with

  1. a person who is, or who the accused believes is, under the age of eighteen years, for the purpose of facilitating the commission of an offence under subsection 153(1), section 155 or 163.1, subsection 212(1) or (4) or section 271, 272 or 273 with respect to that person;
  2. a person who is, or who the accused believes is, under the age of 16 years, for the purpose of facilitating the commission of an offence under section 151 or 152, subsection 160(3) or 173(2) or section 280 with respect to that person; or
  3. a person who is, or who the accused believes is, under the age of 14 years, for the purpose of facilitating the commission of an offence under section 281 with respect to that person.
  • 10
    The "sugar daddy" is likely to be somewhere far outside the reach of Canadian law enforcement.
    – ceejayoz
    Commented Jan 2, 2020 at 16:14
  • 3
    @ceejayoz: That's true. The site operators or business partners of the site may be within reach of the Canadian authorities, though. Or maybe there's an international group (cooperation among national police forces) working on this or similar cases where the information provided could be of use. The best way to find out is to just report it. Maybe the local fuzz can't help, or maybe they can connect up with another organization and do something.
    – JRE
    Commented Jan 2, 2020 at 16:27
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    @ceejayoz That's possible, but it's better to assume it's not the case. I don't remember the term for this, but I remember someone talking about statements which may be false, but it's better to live as if they're true. E.g. "All guns are loaded". So people always take extra caution to safe all guns they pick up. Even those just safed by the person who handed them, right before their eyes. While it looks like a paranoid ritual, that extra bit of caution is probably worth while. Similarly, it's better to assume that the police can help. At least give it a try.
    – Alexander
    Commented Jan 2, 2020 at 16:28
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    @JRE Precisely. It's really common to see international cooperation between the likes of RCMP, FBI, Europol, Interpol, etc. particularly for busting child porn and human trafficking rings. Doesn't mean that everybody is always caught, but it's best to leave it up to the professionals to decide, as you said.
    – Alexander
    Commented Jan 2, 2020 at 16:31
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    There's the issue of whether the scammer knew the OP was underage, and furthermore, they have the argument that they had no intention of engaging in any sexual contact with the OP, just using their account to send money around, which would be a rather solid defense against Child Luring, albeit opening them to financial charges. Commented Jan 3, 2020 at 4:26

he asked for my bank account info which I stupidly gave him

Did you give him the information to deposit money i.e. account number and sort code? Or did you give him the information to physically log in to your online banking?

Sugar daddy stuff aside, you should never give anyone the latter, especially not a stranger. Even if you had no money in it, your bank account is a valuable asset. By being associated with a person -- your bank presumably required some form of ID, and maybe address verification -- your bank account has a legitimacy that would make it attractive to money launderers or to be used as part of a scam. You don't want yourself mixed up in that.

On top of that, there is no reason for someone you don't know to request that information. If they wanted to transfer you money then they can do that without needing to login, with only a tiny amount of information.

In future when accepting a cash transfer (not from a sugar daddy), you may consider something like PayPal to offer one level of indirection from your actual bank account.

I found out he had transferred the money to some random person

As in, he had transferred the $200 which he deposited in to your account out of your account again, to someone you don't know? In which case, it could be money laundering.

he said he would send me money and didn't expect anything in return

In such situations, always ask yourself what the motivation of the other person could possibly be. Why might a total stranger want to give you hundreds of dollars, rather than to a charity, or to his family/friends, or even just to another girl who is prepared to fulfill the usual end of the sugar daddy arrangement?

Even if someone genuinely means it when they say they don't expect anything in return, you can't know whether or not they'll change their mind about that later. By accepting a large amount of money for nothing, you are putting yourself in a position where you may be susceptible to emotional manipulation later. "I gave you that $200, and you won't even _____ for me" etc.

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

What to do now

You have made the first step by contacting your bank. Hopefully this has frozen the "sugar daddy" out, or they are at least monitoring it for suspicious activity.

I would speak with them again, but I don't think you have to divulge the sugar daddy part if you think it's too embarrassing. Just give them the facts:

  • Someone you don't know contacted you online
  • They seemed nice and genuine
  • They offered to give you money
  • You gave them your information
  • They did transfer you money, but you didn't spend it
  • The money was transferred to someone else that you don't know

This should be enough for them to take action and when you are able to prove your identity you should be able to regain access to your account.

It will probably depend on the specifics of the account as to whether your parents will need to be involved. If it is a children's account that they are associated with then they may need to be. If they are not associated with the account then you may be okay.

With any luck, it is just the one $200 transaction in and out, and I doubt the bank or authorities will care too much about that, if at all. They may look at where the money has come from or gone to, to see whether those accounts are compromised as well.

I hope this works out well for you. I doubt you will get into much trouble. You haven't done anything immoral so try not to feel too guilty about it, but giving a stranger your information was definitely silly. Everyone makes mistakes when they're young, it's all part of growing up.

If your parents do find out and give you a hard time, try to remember that it's only because they love you and worry about you.

I'm sure that you've already learned from this experience and that you'll be more careful in future.

  • 1
    As nobody has mentioned it, it's probably worth noting that the bank is quite likely to want the $200 back. Such lessons don't come for free.
    – richardb
    Commented Jan 2, 2020 at 22:53
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    She isn't overdrawn now but she will be if the bank reverses the $200 credit as fraudulent, which it almost certainly was.
    – richardb
    Commented Jan 3, 2020 at 0:20
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    Generally, the scammer will withdraw the money by Western Union, or some other method that isn't reversible.
    – richardb
    Commented Jan 3, 2020 at 10:32
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    Judging from OP's sentence " I blocked the guy because I found out he had transferred the money to some random person" I think OP did give the sugar daddy account credentials.
    – Counter
    Commented Jan 3, 2020 at 14:35
  • 1
    @Michael you don't just use some naive girl's account to transfer money you legally got to someone you can legally send it to. So probably it was stolen $200 and bank will have to reverse the deposit transaction - and suddenly, account is overdrawn $200. On the other hand, outgoing transaction was made using her password, and thus - was authorized by account owner until proven otherwise. So while it may be reversed some day, maybe, it will not be any time soon.
    – Mołot
    Commented Jan 3, 2020 at 16:20

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