I did something completely dumb and fell for it because I wanted money. I gave away my bank account login to my sugar daddy and now it’s suspended. He claims it’s because he tried to login twice consecutively.

Now I don’t know what to do. I only had a dollar in my account and tried to use it, so I know my bank account is already in the negatives. I hope he didn’t do anymore damage. I have no idea what to do. My parents would be so disappointed as I’m 17.

  • 30
    Call the bank pronto and mention your account has been compromised. Get them to stop any activity on the account. And ask them to send you your new login details
    – DumbCoder
    Dec 24, 2019 at 13:18
  • 8
    Luckily you are underage and not eligible for credit facilities. Don't afraid to tell your parents as they will definitely find out sooner or later (since you may still under the consent to do anything funny with your bank account ). Consider this as some sort of "flu" that make you aware that there is no such things as free lunch.
    – mootmoot
    Dec 24, 2019 at 14:55
  • 19
    If you are underage in your country (for example the US) then report the "sugar daddy" to the police. He may be guilty of soliciting sex from a minor, which the police will definitely take seriously. Dec 24, 2019 at 15:19
  • 16
    Out of curiosity, what did/do you think "sugar daddy" means?
    – RonJohn
    Dec 24, 2019 at 15:29
  • 8
    Okay guys, this is a site about money. Let's keep the discussion about what constitutes a sugar daddy to a minimum. Dec 26, 2019 at 1:08

5 Answers 5


Be glad it is already suspended and you aren't in a much bigger hole. Call your bank/go in person, close the account, and don't ever give out your bank information again. Also, if it sounds too good to be true, it is.

  • So I cant just open my account back up and change the password?
    – AriN
    Dec 24, 2019 at 16:13
  • 15
    @AriN Possibly, but he's got a fair amount of information that might allow him to override your changes. Better to go through some extra hassle and be sure. Dec 24, 2019 at 17:01
  • 5
    Just because the account s suspended doesn't mean OP isn't in further trouble. Suspending the account could be just the first step in a process of investigating whatever was done through the account, which could lead to questions like "was OP really an innocent naive victim in this situation."
    – Jin Long
    Dec 24, 2019 at 20:59
  • 3
    Call your bank / go to the bank in person, tell them that the login credentials were compromised. The bank have already designed a process for that and they know exactly what they do to keep you safe, there's no need to discuss here whether the account needs to be closed.
    – JiK
    Dec 25, 2019 at 15:19
  • 2
    @AriN Go to the bank and tell them exactly what happened. They're used to a lot of things and have procedures in place. If you don't tell them what happened, they may not understand what went wrong and this could get you in trouble down the road.
    – Mast
    Dec 25, 2019 at 17:38

With high probability this account was intended to illegitimately receive funds from fraud victims. The common explanation, which one cannot stress enough: Understanding Triangulation Fraud.

In case such a transfer had been received before they've frozen it, the best would be to tell the bank bluntly what happened - and that you have been tricked into it. They might also have frozen it, because of online access from some foreign country, where the IP address appeared unlikely to be your's (rest assured, that a "suspicious activity report" had already be filed). Since you're under-age, credit business is impossible - but if funds were received and forwarded, this might still be a liability (for your parents). Don't believe a single word from that scammer - he set you up as as their straw man/woman for money-laundering, whose ID will be liable for any eventual fraud charges and reimbursements. In the current situation, you can only hope that no payments had been forwarded and that the bank had frozen that checking account on time, so that they can return the funds to their legitimate owner. The easiest solution might be to inform your parents first (they'll be notified sooner or later about it), and then take one of them to the bank in order to sort this out.

  • 1
    In ihs case, the triangulation fraud would be that they'd hack Joe Blow's account, transfer the money to your account, then transfer the money out to themselves. It would look like you hacked Joe Blow's account, and Joe would come after you for it. Dec 25, 2019 at 0:02
  • 2
    @Harper-ReinstateMonica The way it works is, that they offer goods online, which they do not posses and ask their customers for bank transfer (and so they need someone who provides that account, can be PayPal as well). They then order those goods with a stolen CC number - and the customer even receives the goods. From that balance, either gift card codes or Western Union transfers are requested ...it's a pretty mean scheme, which isn't that obvious at first - until the CC is reported as stolen. They also may offer checks which will bounce, so their accomplice/victim is forced to comply (debt). Dec 25, 2019 at 3:04
  • 2
    With "customer" I actually mean Mr. Joe Blow ...who transfers the funds in good faith and will receive what he had ordered - while the sender of the goods will never be paid - and the money had been laundered already. It seems they not only look for victims on freelancer sites, but also on sugar daddy & sugar baby sites. Warning people is the only thing that can break the wheel ... Dec 25, 2019 at 3:10


Your timeline of events makes your question difficult to follow, and I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but what follows is what I suspect happened:

A) "I did something completely dumb and fell for it because I wanted money. I gave away my bank account login to my sugar daddy."

You gave away your username and password to your bank account (savings or checking) because you wanted money (balance in the accounted unstated, but assumed to be more than one dollar), to another person (sugar daddy) on an unspecified calendar date.

Sugar daddy accessed your bank account one or more times (succeeding in removing/transferring monies out) for an unspecified passing of calendar time.

                      ** B) and C) could be reversed **

B) "I only had a dollar in my account. I know my bank account is "already" in the negatives."

You had access to the bank account for an unspecified passing of calendar time and the last time you logged in you saw the balance was one dollar and possibly pending account fees and penalties that would put the balance below zero.

C) "tried to use it and now it’s suspended. He claims it’s because he tried to login twice consecutively."

You attempted to access the bank account after an unspecified passing of calendar time and received a message that the account was suspended, and was unable to login.

You somehow, either by calling bank, statement or sugar daddy, discovered that your account balance is/was one dollar, and know that account fees or penalties from unknown times of use from sugar daddy has put the account balance below zero.

D) "I hope he didn’t do anymore damage."

You know or suspect from sugar daddy that it is only financial loss.

E) "My parents would be so disappointed as I'm 17"

You are under 18yo.

F) "I have no idea what to do."

You do not know where to start to fix the bank account and/or financial loss.

If this appears to sum up your problem and question then this is my response:

Sit down and have an honest private conversation with your parents as quickly as you 
can manage it. You said your parents would be disappointed. That is understandable 
wouldn't you agree? Evidently your parent's guidance/feelings are important to you, 
otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned them, or you would have said they'd kill you. 
Since you didn't say that, I would assume you have a reasonable relationship with 
them. Also disappointed could mean that they see you as a mature and responsible 
child and that your bad decision was less than they would expect of you.

You used the term "sugar daddy" to describe the person you gave the information. My 
understanding of that definition is: An older man by at least 20+- years or more, 
unmarried or married, that has money, among other assets, that he entices or spends 
on a young girl, 16-18yo, giving her gifts and/or promises typically for sex in return.

For whatever reason(s) you are with him, legally or not, you are in a relationship 
that either your parents know about or you've hidden it, and this too would be the 
further cause of their disappointment. Both the bank account AND the relationship 
must be revealed to your parents. You already know these things otherwise you 
wouldn't be looking for other solutions.

Your parent's ARE the solution. They love you and have spent 17 years teaching you to 
make good livable decisions so that when you are on your own in relationships, at 
college and life, or whatever else, you will be safe and happy, even when they are 
no longer able to give you guidance and counsel after they've died. That is THEIR 

Your PARENT'S are the solution. Even if I have misunderstood your relationship with 
them they are the ones to take the lead and talk with the bank and police if there 
are illegal activities with your account. Tell your parents that YOU would like to be 
involved so you can learn from this mistake.

As for sugar daddy, that's between you, your parents, and the law if necessary. Even 
if there are no illegal activities with the bank account, if he is a decent but lying 
individual, you and your parents must decide if he has broken consent laws and 
whether the law needs to be involved. If you have a good relationship with your 
parents then continue to trust them.

I know this was a long answer, but life-learned lessons are very seldom short answered. Good luck.

Update: Having joined this exchange I realize that the expected answer should be about banking details... I stand by my answer. Tell parents.


This makes no sense? You need to tell us exactly what happened to how and why when where & who. And tell about everybody involved and how they all fit into this mess.

NEVER give any info about your bank account to anybody for any reason no matter what.

And sugar daddy? Sugar daddy is a rich old guy who gives his girlfriend money. The girl does not give him money. He gets other benefits like taking her to events.

IMMEDIATELY go to that bank and close the account. If somebody else took money out that would be fraud and you should be safe although you may not get your money back at least you should not have to repay the bank more money.

Also go to the police and report what happened. And do tell your parents in case he can somehow get info on their accounts too so they can protect themselves. There is no such thing as a free lunch [TANSTAFFL]. "Sugar Daddies" do NOT give you money in your bank account. They are scams to steal everything you do not have nailed down and are dumb enough to let them know how to do it with your passwords.

  • 3
    This is written too harshly. Why are we victim-bashing the OP here?
    – ave
    Dec 24, 2019 at 23:53
  • 4
    Not victimizing anybody. The truth is what it is. Sugar coating the facts will not help him or anybody. Clearly he is young an naive and still needs to learn a lot. He won't learn if we do not tell it like it is. And he won't fix his problem if we do that either.
    – foo yuk
    Dec 25, 2019 at 0:00
  • 3
    @Ave please show in detail what part of this answer is bashing (which entails, you know, bashing the victim) the victim. I certainly don't see him criticizing her.
    – RonJohn
    Dec 25, 2019 at 5:21
  • 1
    Probability has nothing to do with it, @Ron. This is not "political correctness", it's just, well, not being an arse. Cheers. Dec 26, 2019 at 3:53
  • 3
    @LightnessRaceswithMonica honestly, I need to know how it's being an arse to refer to someone who probably a girl as... a girl?
    – RonJohn
    Dec 26, 2019 at 3:58

You don't provide enough details for a good answer. It is likely you don't have all the information yourself.

First, you need to contact your bank and make them tell you what exactly happened to your account to get it suspended. Typically, when you're partly guilty yourself, it is best to not volunteer information unless asked. Play stupid and simply ask why your account is suspended. Basically, when the cop asks you if you know why he stopped you, your answer should always be a version of "no idea, but I'm sure you will tell me."

If asked, you can tell them that someone tricked you into giving them your account data. You're 17. They will probably think you're stupid but let them - it's not illegal to be stupid.

Once you know what exactly caused the suspension, you can plan your next steps. Your parents might not have to get involved.

The main question you don't answer is just how badly you need to keep which secrets. Does your relation with your "sugar-daddy" involve sex? Other non-intercourse sexual actions that would legally be classified as sexual activities? Do you want to protect your "sugar-daddy" or deliver him to the wolves for causing you trouble?

  • Not volunteering information is a bad idea. Since OP is a minor, the bank can't do much against it either way. Admit the mistake and get the problem fixed, that's the fastest route for everyone.
    – Mast
    Dec 25, 2019 at 17:40
  • 1
    Playing stupid with the bank is a stupid idea.
    – forest
    Dec 26, 2019 at 5:23
  • "playing stupid" here means to ask why, instead of approaching the question as if you already know the answer.
    – Tom
    Dec 26, 2019 at 7:05
  • The account being suspended is not the real issue. Asking the bank why it was suspended isn't going to solve any actual problems. The issue here is that the OP is clearly involved with a scammer. This answer doesn't really even address that, and suggesting that someone who is clearly naive about financial crime should try to "play stupid" and keep secrets as a way to outsmart the institutions that are inherently trying to protect innocent victims (like them) is patently bad advice.
    – dwizum
    Dec 27, 2019 at 15:02

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