I am 17 years old and I met this sugar daddy online that only wanted to talk and for me to be his companion, nothing sexual. I agreed.

After 2 weeks of talking he said I will be sending you your first allowance. I sent him my full name and email and he sent me a cheque through my email. I deposited the money today. He sent me $800 so now I have $830 (yes I have only $30).

Then he said that he needs help. I needed to buy him 3 steal wallet cards each $50. He is working on an app in Denmark and also works in some type of cryptocurrency. So at first I said why do I need to get it and he said that he lives in Denmark and it needs to be dollar or whatever. I said sure. Then he asked me for paypal because someone was going to paypal me some money and I needed to send it to someone. I disagreed and he said okay. Then I asked him if he is scamming me because I read about fake checks and scamming situations.

I am so anxious and scared I am going to have a panic attack and faint. I don’t know anything I’ve never done this please what should I do?

edit: edit: i blocked him and reported his account. then i went to my bank and told them about it. they put the $800 on hold until it gets returned or something idk. the man texted me from another account saying he will report my account for fraud and have me arrested by Tuesday. i deleted the message and didn’t respond. can he do that ?

  • 18
    Are you aware of what sugar means in sugardaddy?
    – quid
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 7:45
  • 18
    "obviously i know what the sugar means that’s why i accepted". There's no such thing as a long distance sugar daddy.
    – RonJohn
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 8:27
  • 9
    Be aware that while money may become available after a few days, the check itself can still bounce for weeks afterwards. It's a fake check.
    – ceejayoz
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 14:30
  • 5
    Yes, what @ceejayoz said. To put a finer point on it: Even if your bank releases the funds, you take out $800 cash and spend it, they can later say: 1. It was fake, your balance is now -$800 (or -$770), 2. It was reported as stolen check, your balance is now -$800 and these gentlemen/ladies in suits would like a word, 3. It was part of a money laundering scheme. These federal agents would like a word, 4. Somethng else.
    – Damila
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 16:14
  • 12
    "i'm just a big dumbass" no, you're not. Plenty of people get scammed and we all make mistakes. At least you recognized something was not quite right about the situation.
    – Hart CO
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 16:23

3 Answers 3


Yes, this is an ongoing scam which gets mentioned every couple days just on this site here.

  1. The "sugar daddy" promises the victim they will give them money for pretty much nothing in return.
  2. They send a fake cheque through email. The cheque will cash at first, but after a couple weeks the banks will notice it is bad and remove the money again. In the meantime, the victim believes that they indeed found someone willing to give them money just for talking to them online.
  3. In the meantime, they try to use the trust they built with the victim to get them to do various stupid things:
    • Send them back part of the cheque - the victim will lose the money when the cheque bounces.
    • Buy gift cards from their own money and give the codes to the scammer so they can withdraw the money.
    • Receive money from hacked banking and paypal accounts and forward it to legitimate accounts (money laundering / money mule).
    • Get the victim to reveal online banking passwords so they can plunder their account.
    • Get the victim to reveal personal information which can be used for identity theft or blackmail.

What should you do when you have fallen for such a person?

Just break contact. Block them on any communication medium.

They might try to threaten you with legal actions because you took their money. Rest assured, it's a scare tactic. They sent you money and getting it back is their problem. After a couple days, the cheque will bounce anyway. If you are not sure about what to do with a probably bad cheque you cashed, contact your bank and ask them when you can expect it to bounce or if you can do anything to accelerate the process so you have peace of mind.

If you fear for your physical safety, call the police. But it is unlikely that they will bother you after they realized you realized it's a scam. They have nothing to gain by that. There are plenty of other victims they can spend their time on in a more efficient way.

  • 12
    Just break contact. Block them on any communication medium. Also - if you have already deposited the check or done any other financial activity, tell your bank. And, if you met them on a social platform, flag them or report them on that platform.
    – dwizum
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 16:24
  • 5
    And report them to an anti-fraud unit. Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 16:50
  • 2
    "The cheque will cash at first": is this really possible in the US? This is impossible everywhere in the EU.
    – John B
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 18:08
  • 2
    @JohnB The cheque will usually be forged. It will take a while until the impersonated account owner notices that they lost money, will ask the bank to investigate, they will find out that the signature on the cheque doesn't match the one of the account holder they have on file and will reverse the transfer.
    – Philipp
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 18:10
  • 3
    Common scam in the US. Here's a link to the FTC's blog describing the various kinds of fake check scams. consumer.ftc.gov/blog/2018/09/anatomy-fake-check-scam
    – doug
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 18:35

The actual problem here are the USD 800 ...supposed to be checked into your account. Simply because once that check will bounce, the checking account will have a balance of minus USD 800. Once this is the situation, then this financial obligation will force one to comply with the demands.

Better let the bank freeze these funds temporarily and let them run a background check on the sender account (before daring to touch these funds), because it seems as if you're about to be set up to launder stolen funds for some criminal gang. I'd suggest to openly talk with the bank about the suspicion of having been transferred funds, which do not legitimately belong to you and that you have absolutely nothing to do with that scheme. Only if this cannot be proven, you may consider these your's - but if you will spend or even have spent these funds already, you've sold your soul cheap - and it will only get worse once the check bounces.

Understanding Triangulation Fraud might be worth reading and comprehending. In short, they will use your ID to defraud people and you shall forward them these funds without an invoice or a receipt, as their straw woman. The result would be countless fraud lawsuits against your ID and likely also some accumulated debt, due to the reimbursement of these illegitimate transactions.

Such organized crime might be a case for Europol or Interpol, depending where they operate.

There (usually) ain't no such thing as "a free lunch".

  • 3
    TNSTAAFL - Heinlein
    – doug
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 20:37

Yes it's a scam.

Yes it's time to talk to your parents.

Yes it's time to report to the police. The police may be interested in continuing conversation with the scammer to set up a sting, and thus protect other youth who are more gullible.

No the money is not really there. Do not spend it. Get with your parents and call the local police today, make sure they communicate with your bank.

No he can't have you arrested. YES calling your local police helps you. Save everything. Print it out.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/12/07/us/video-games-child-sex-abuse.html "Video games and online chats are hunting grounds for sexual predators".

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