So basically, I was really desperate when I met this guy. I'm 18. He says he's in Canada right now, and will be back on the 23rd. When he isn't talking about money, he's been really upfront, honest, and genuine. But he offered to help me get a car, and I ended up giving over $2k worth, while he coughed up $1500, and he said he's going to help me pay off the final $2k when he brings the car to me. After, if I no longer want the car, he wants me to sell it at a higher price.

I'm AWARE this was stupid, but it was really convincing and I took a leap of faith. But now he's telling me he doesn't trust his personal assistant anymore or something, and wants to link his company account to mine. He wants me to apply for a credit card, because I haven't established credit yet, and I'm not sure if this is suspicious or what.

Like I said, he's told me he's going to come see me when he gets back to the states. I'm not sure if that will really happen, but he otherwise hasn't shown many signs of being a scammer. Like he is obviously from another country, but he lives in New York. Seems to trade a lot of bitcoin. But his english is good, he's intelligent. For the most part, in my opinion, he seems legit but... I still can't help but feel it's a bit suspicious.

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    I am very sorry to tell you that you have just had a very expensive two thousand dollar lesson. It may not seem so now, but you should consider it an investment.
    – Mawg
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 13:13
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    "he's told me he's going to come see me when he gets back to the states" - he has almost certainly been in the states the whole time
    – Mawg
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 13:15
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    @Mawg or, alternatively (and probably more likely), he's never been in the US in his life, and not in Canada either.
    – jcaron
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 14:03
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    If you've not shaken his hand, you haven't "met" him. Sugar daddies that you only know online aren't sugar daddies. Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 18:16
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    You used the phrase "he says" to describe his behaviour. That's really good attitude. Do more of that. Then consider adding "but he might not be". "He says he is in Canada, but he might not be". "He says he's going to see me, but he might not". "He says he doesn't trust his admin, but the admin might not even exist". Keep developing your skeptical attitude and that will help you avoid being scammed more in the future. Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 18:24

5 Answers 5


People that have money and want to help others don't need money sent to them in order to do so, and there is no scenario where you opening up a credit card would enable a stranger to help you financially.

When a scammer gets a payout from someone, they very frequently try to get more from the person. In this case the scammer got $2,000 from you, they likely know that you don't have more spare cash, so getting you to open a line of credit would be a good way for them to get more from you.

There's no reason to give this person access to your bank/credit accounts.

I certainly hope that I'm wrong, and that this vehicle will be delivered, but none of it sounds believable to me. Don't risk losing more.

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    Alright, noted. Thank you for not being harsh, this is embarrassing enough as it is. But I'm definitely not talking to him anymore.
    – user92405
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 7:13
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    It's a bad situation, but you're asking for help. There are some people who give out their life saving, re-mortgage their homes, take out half a million loan, and still can be in denial about their phantom boyfriends. This is a super important lesson; always ask for more info. Scammers always get pissed off and wants you to finish the deal.
    – Nelson
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 15:23
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    @user92405 this is embarrassing enough as it is. - thank you for asking despite the embarrassment. Scam victims are often so upset that they never tell anyone what happened, which keeps other potential victims ignorant and lets the scammers continue to trick people. Talking about it and spreading the message of how the scammer operated will help others avoid the trap.
    – dwizum
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 15:42
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    +1 for "People that have money and want to help don't need money sent to them" Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 17:35
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    @user92405 You probably shouldn't cut contact with him. There may be other things you can do. You should google around for that, or ask another question. I think the usual answer is to get in contact with the FBI. It may be worth reversing the game and playing it out ("Hey babe, great news! I just got approved for a giant credit card! We can talk again about your company situation after the car gets delivered. xoxo", then of course never actually opening a credit card for him. It should be clear from "People that have money and want to help don't need money sent to them")
    – Mars
    Commented Dec 17, 2019 at 4:20

There is a very simple test to apply to any question that asks about sugar daddies. Are you having sex with the guy? If not, it's a scam. The odds of any guy just wanting to give you money are about the same as your odds of winning the lottery. That's just the way life is.

Of course even if you are having sex with the guy, he still could be planning to scam you*. If he actually wants to give you money, he could pay your rent, make direct deposits to your bank account, or just hand you cash. He does not need, and should not have, any personal financial details.

*As happened to a good friend of mine. Met a guy, fell in love, he moved in, and she was happy for about 6 months. Then he cleaned out her bank account, ran up bills on her credit cards, and left town with her jewelry, leaving his dog behind. Really nice dog, too.

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    At least the dog won out
    – Mawg
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 13:14
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    Pfft. She got an awesome dog out of the deal. I think she was the winner here.
    – Valorum
    Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 15:04
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    Probably wasn't his dog. Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 15:47
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    Note the comment by dwizum under money.stackexchange.com/questions/109924/… : "To provide some insight (which to be clear I've gained via working in the financial industry, not via participating in this social construct). it is very common both for sugar daddies to send money to people they haven't met in person, and for sugar relationships to never materialize in the real world and be completely online..." Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 15:55
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    Maybe the dog refused to go Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 17:34

It is obvious Romance scam. Consider yourself is lucky as you only "spent" $2000. Some people simply lose ten or even hundreds of thousands when they fall into a relationship sunk cost fallacy trap.

Apparently, the scammer attempted to upgrade the scam and try to lure you to give consent to charge on your credit card.

You should get over this and account this as a lesson paid (don't blame yourself on stupidity as many "adults" also fall for the sunk cost fallacy trap). Report it to the police if you think it is deemed necessary, just in case the scammer switches the tactics to blackmail.

On the language speaking part, Tim Harford has a throughout writing on Why we fall for cons.

  • 1
    I've, myself, only fallen for two scams in my life. Both of which I was able to identify and get out of (one way or another) before I lost any money. One was the "free watch with magazines" call (it was early in the morning before I normally woke up, realized five minutes later, canceled my credit card). The other was an attempt to hijack my Steam account. I forked over more information than I'd like to admit, but never lost control of my account. Only other incident I can think of was someone charging YouTube Red (and similar) to my CC, no idea how, got that resolved and all $250 back. Commented Dec 16, 2019 at 18:24

You can add anyone to a company credit line or even a personal credit line without them applying for anything.

It is called an "authorized user".

His request for you to do anything isn't necessary and should be a major red flag.


Glad you used your brain and not feelings when you assessed your "sugar daddy's" request. Good for you! Your description of him screams, scammer!, loud and clear. If I myself would be so inclined to become a sugar daddy, I would reverse the flow of cash so my sugar would be on the end of receiving, not the other way around. Stay sharp :)

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