Let me preface this by saying that I’m aware of how this all sounds, and ultimately I’m probably an idiot.

Without getting into a long back story, I recently found myself on a website seeking a sugar daddy (I already know what you’re thinking). Finally find a potential candidate. We start talking about an arrangement. Offering $500 a week allowance. I created a separate bank account with a separate bank that I don’t use for protection. He wants the debit card number, not the account number, to load the account. He paid my phone bill, but then ordered 3 new iPhones (sirens start blaring). One is supposed to be for me. They are being sent to my address, so I’m hoping if this really is a scam, I can intercept them and send them back.

  • 13
    "Has anyone else has a similar experience?" No one wants to be my sugar daddy.
    – RonJohn
    Oct 11, 2019 at 1:24
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    Yes. If you're not having sex with the guy, it's a scam.
    – jamesqf
    Oct 11, 2019 at 3:02
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    @jamesqf - we need a member-voted badge for "telling the harsh truth". Oct 11, 2019 at 11:20
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    I don't think that this is a duplicate of the question it is linked to. The only connection is that they are both about suspicious people claiming that they want to be suggar daddies. But the scams themselves are entirely different. Here we have identity theft, the other is money laundering.
    – Philipp
    Oct 11, 2019 at 11:45
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    Agreed, now, it's your job to add the tags to add the tag to the other questions it applies to. But, only 2-3 per day so it doesn't flood first page. Oct 12, 2019 at 12:25

2 Answers 2


A couple of points:

  • questions in the form "is XY a scam?" almost always have the answer yes.

  • the chances of a sugar daddy paying for a virtual relationship without actual physical contact are almost 0%

  • he probably ordered those 3 iPhones on your debit card. He might have paid your phone bill with your card too, or maybe with someone's else money as a bait. This could be a loss of some thousand dollars. Even if there was no money on the account, the account possibly has some overdraft facility.

  • 1
    The only upside is that handing out your debit card number (as opposed to online banking login) doesn't automatically make you responsible for what the other person does with that.
    – HAEM
    Oct 11, 2019 at 7:12
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    @HAEM It makes you responsible for telling the other person "you can spend all my money".
    – alephzero
    Oct 11, 2019 at 10:43
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    @HAEM I'm not sure that's true. Giving out your debit card is almost certainly a violation of the card's terms of service, which means the card holder is liable.
    – dwizum
    Oct 11, 2019 at 17:13

I used to be a banker, and this type of scam was typical. From a bankers perspective- You'd be surprised what you can do with the debit card number, you can create a digital identity based on this alone, enough to do serious financial hurt.

From check fraud, wire fraud, to ecommerce fraud the list goes on and on- you name it. The person (bad guy/girl) could create a clone of the card (this was typical), then deposit bad checks under a stolen identity- and immediately withdraw the funds (usually insurance, medical, medicare, social security type checks; checks stolen in the mail from old people- who take forever to report lost or missing).

All sorts of frauds that can happen, that most likely will land you in prison if you're unaware. Being unaware isn't too much of a legal/criminal defense. For sure you'll end up on checksystem at the very least and investigation by a local police department if greater than $200; to top it off, after being blacklisted into checksystems- you can't bank with anyone for at least 7-10 years- which means you'll be cashing your future employment checks inside of check cashing services and good luck with that.

  • 3
    This looks like it should be the canonical answer for this family of questions.
    – Lawrence
    Oct 11, 2019 at 9:34

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