My wife of 18 years has a problem with money. She has stolen from banks using my identity, falsified documents to get cars, and has been to prison over it. I pay for everything and give her whatever I have left over, which is very little.
We have three children approaching the teenage years. Despite being through the worst possible time with her, we are still together. Recently she was in a serious car accident and is due to receive a big injury payout. She says she is "planning" on paying me back everything that she took from me (I'm still paying back a couple of banks where she jointly took out loans). She's also planning on getting a new car and doing a few things around the house.
I'm the breadwinner which is why I pay the bills and mortgage. She works part time but it doesn't go very far and despite receiving a good part time wage, she is broke after two weeks.
I need to be realistic and live life thinking there could be three outcomes after her insurance payout:
She makes excuses and lives the high life, spending the money on a new car, big house renovation, expensive holidays and her rehab.
She pays back everything and buys a 5 year old auto and also does the few things around the house, a small holiday, and keeps money for her rehab/ rainy day fund.
She buys me out of the mortgage and we divorce.
I think option 1 and 3 are very realistic and option 2 is never going to happen. Option 2 is what I'd like to happen since it would be nice to be together as a family without her past issues always being at the back of my mind.
How do I make sure option 1 does not materialize and if option 3 happens, how can I get the best deal for myself so I can provide a roof over my head and have a place for my kids to visit?